I was gratified, if somewhat surprised, by the number of responses I received to last week's post about my locker room neurosis. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling ill at ease in that peculiar, damp setting.
As I was reading your various comments and emails, it occurred to me that I've endured mercifully few experiences like the awkward one I described, and I've never had something truly mortifying happen to me in the locker room.
You know what I'm talking about.
When I was a teen, a poor guy I knew at the public high school, suffered an involuntary physical response that earned himself the indelible moniker of "Shower-Boner." (Fortunately, with the help of the Federal Witness Protection Program, he and his family were able to start a new life in another part of the country.)
On the other hand, in the last couple years, I've seen men strolling casually through a packed locker room at 5:00 p.m. on a weekday, towel in hand (NOT around waist), sporting what looks suspiciously like, well, wood. (Or something very close to that, at least.)
So what gives? Are these guys exhibitionists? Are they looking to hook up? Or (as I would be be) are they desperately reciting state capitals in their heads, hoping that the mental exertion will draw blood upwards from the scene of the crime? I suppose it's possible that they just don't give a damn what people see or think, but for an uptight Nervous Nelly like me, that's nearly impossible to grasp. (C'est la vie has never been one of my catch phrases.)
I would love to ask the men next to me, "Did you see that?!?", but there appears to be a code of silence about such moments. So, I just ponder the possible explanations as I walk, dazed and confused, to my car with my sweatpants on backwards and shoes on the wrong feet.
After witnessing such sights, at home I greet Darren with "You won't believe what I saw at the gym today!" (He thinks it's weird, too.)
What bizarre gym behavior perplexes you? Please share with the group...