These are easily the ugliest shoes I have ever purchased. (However, they are not by any means the ugliest shoes I saw in the store where I bought these lovelies.)
They are also the second most expensive shoes I own, but it's really the ugly part that has got me down.
I'm not kidding. I even feel slightly nauseated looking at them.
I think the nausea stems in part from the fact that the soles of these running shoes appear to be made from squid tentacles. I mean, don't those look like suckers to you??
As I have no doubt mentioned, I'm extremely allergic to squid (and octopus and for that matter), and even though I strongly doubt that any squid went into the construction of this pair of shoes, even the most tenuous mental association with vomiting after eating squid in black bean sauce is enough to make me feel a bit oogie. (Come to thin of it, running makes me feel oogie, too.)
Then there's that hideous greenish-yellow color that's reminiscent of the acid blood of the aliens in the Alien series of sci-fi movies.
That alien blood is some nasty stuff. Do I really want molecular acid on the soles my shoes? I already have enough trouble with blisters as it is. (Why not diamonds on the soles or my shoes? Wouldn't that be much nicer all the way around?)
I suppose these aesthetic considerations should really viewed as secondary to my athletic need for a really good stability running shoe that corrects my severe over-pronation.
Yes it seem I'm going to try to try to start doing some running again.
You heard right. Running. With my 41-year-old tree trunk legs.
I assure you that I am not even remotely considering running a marathon like my friends Scott and Eric. (Okay, I suppose that could happen someday, and when it does, I'm sure my wife and six kids will be there to watch me cross the finish line...)
No, I'm hoping to run a meager 5K race in September. I've registered to run in the Silent No More Walk/Run 5K, an ovarian cancer fundraiser that I participated in once before, three years ago, to mark the one year anniversary of my mother's death. Last time I ran (jogged) the 5K, I raised over $1000. I also lost a few pounds, and I got my gams looking a bit leaner.
I figure that: 1) I know twice as many people now as I knew then (hence greater fund-raising potential); 2) I still need to lose a few (many) pounds; 3) my gams could stand to look even better; 4) and most importantly, ovarian cancer still claims far too many women's lives.
So after work on Monday I went to the mall, and after some hemming and hawing and consulting with a very friendly young salesperson, I bought these blue and green abominations.
Ugly though the shoes are, they feel great on my feet, and I need to keep that point firmly in mind.
In the next few weeks, I'll share more about the upcoming fundraise and I will shamelessly ask for your donations to the worthy cause of fighting ovarian cancer, a horrible illness that just really really sucks.
Slow of foot but steadfast in purpose,