In many cases, however, the passage of time cools passion, and lovers gradually drift along divergent paths until a point is reached when the relationship has ended of its own accord. All that remains is to make a clean break and move on.
That's where I find myself today, as I contemplate the Food Network.
Two plus years ago, when I started this blog, I labeled myself a Food Network junkie. I had watched it from its infancy in the mid-'90s, and for years the network was essentially the default station on my TV.
Now my feelings about their entire line-up can be summed up as "Eh."
Frankly, I just can't be bothered anymore.
Apart from Nigella Lawson's shows, there isn't a single thing I watch on Food Network these days. TiVo records Nigella for me, so it has been months since I deliberately tuned in.
Comcast added Food Network HD months ago, but crystal clear picture quality did no favors for the insipid, badly written shows and increasingly grating and moronic hosts who now choke each day's broadcast schedule.
As I'm annoyed by the pretentious, porcine Mario Bartoli, he's at leat a real chef, and I have to agree with his assertion that Food Network is increasingly targeting the Walmart shopper. I'm sure that makes good business sense, but it makes for terrible cooking and truly dreadful TV.
Nigella Lawson demonstrates each week that simple cooking can still be classy, but classy is definitely taking a back seat to "trashy" on Food Network these days.
True, for a couple magical years, she was the anti-muse who spurred me to ever greater heights of vicious prose (remember this classic?), but now her cotton candy hair and psychotic "tablescapes" elicit little more from me than a brief wince, much like the face one makes when passing roadkill skunks at highway speed. I honestly can't bear to watch her anymore.
And really, what would be the point? Sandy long ago reached such an extreme level of self-parody that further efforts at mockery would be redundant.
As anyone knows, if eventaking pleasure in mockery is impossible, there's no resuscitating a moribund relationship.
So, Food Network, I release you--with a heart full of love for the cable channel you once were. May you be happy in the path you have chosen.